ROCK SOUND #48 /24.05.2003/
HIM A Lover's Guide To Romance

With HIM's latest opus 'Love Metal' about to hit the streets, Rock Sound gets smoochly with Finland's finest frontman Ville Valo some romantic advice.

Fatal Attraction
I like girls in general, if I see a beautiful girl and she has a crooked nose it doesn't really mather. I love hair - the more the better, hairy armpits are sexy as well - I have no turn-offs.

Moving for the kill
Just go over and say hello. Having a decent conversation is usually the best way to start rather than trying stupid pick-up lines or asking to buy them a drink - that's all bullshit: go with the flow, it's easy, you just improvise. If someone's interested, you can usually see it in their eyes. You should definitely not be too drunk and you shouldn't smoke, it's bad for the breath.

Dress to impress
Always go as you are, that's the best way, you instantly get through all the bullshit. If someone doesn't like you 'cos you're wearing sneakers they can fuck off. Clothes show the kind of person you are but they don't really matter - if you want to impress somebody, you should be able to impress them with your personality.

Scrubbing up
I have such dry skin I can't wash, especially during winter - thank God I put some deodorant on! I washed these jeans last July and this shit (referring to his other clothes) four months ago. Don't use shampoo because it's bad for your scalp. I like ladies to look natural, so many ladies destroy their skin with shit-loads of make up - if you want to look like a goth stay indoors and use garbage bags on the windows so you don't get the sunlight, that's much better way to handle the spookiness.

Razorblade Romance
It's romantic to open doors for ladies and let them in first, stuff like that's cool. Always take the other person's feelings into consideration and you'll find treating them well is better than buying them a box of chocolates. Good manners are romantic but unfortunately people don't have them anymore.

The way to woo
Don't be like everybody else - have real opinions about real matters. I've met so many people who don't know anything about anything. You've got to have opinions, it's very important- but you also have to understand there's a difference in people and that's the beauty of it all that we shouldn't be the same.

How far on a first date?
Kiss on the cheek maybe, it depends. Sometimes there's an animal instinct going on, if you're both adults you should be allowed to decide yourselves, but you have to be careful especially if drink is involved, otherwise you're going to end up being a true idiot. I prefer not to do it on the first date. It's nice to know someone's personality because everything physical then feels a lot more important and more unique. I like that a lot.

Aphrodisiacs
Red Bull - it keeps you awake! You don't need aphrodisiacs to get the person randy, just the smell of the skin. Skin is better when it's dirty, you can smell the person - each is different and you know them by smell - I love that. Using lots of perfume is not necessary.

Make-out music
Silence and body music - the sounds of things happening like breathing and stuff - that's definitely the best. It's always different. I like old Elvis songs, that's pretty romantic but my girlfriend hates them so we have silence not verbal or sexual silence, just no music.

Sex Toys
Why not? I used to work in a sex shop. Loads of couples use them - but not on the first date! There's loads of adverts for sex toys in the papers in Finland at the moment and it's just making sex way too casual - it shouldn't be casual - it should be a beautiful experience. It's not always like that but you know you can try.

Love Metal
I don't really care for piercings. I like ladies with no earrings but it doesn't really matter, you're not in a relationship because somebody has a piercing - personally I don't get it.

When to call
It depends on how well the date went. I don't know if there any rules, just call them when you feel like it. Texting is so fucking unsexy. It would be so cool to teach pigeons to take little letters saying, 'Let's meet in three weeks on Thursday at five o'clock'- the pigeons will probably be shot down and then you'll all be there crying with all the roses in your hand!

Tips for lasting love
Talk, though I'm really bad at that. Talk about things going on in the relationship - that's what people don't seem to do. Hiding things is the worst thing you can do, that's how marriages end in divorce.

Words: Ronnie Kerswell / Photo: Nigel Crane

Scans: 1, 2

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